Panda Vampires!

Now I know what you're thinking. Surely Panda's aren't THAT evil. I mean Vampires take the cake in terms of evil-ness right? (We don't count those sparkly teens vampires in my home thank you!) Well you couldn't be more wrong. At first I assumed they were just evil creatures bent on world domination... I've discovered something far worse.


The Panda's are in fact... Vampires as well. That myth about becoming bats? All lies. Here's a video of them feasting on one another.





Don't worry my sources tell me garlic still scares them off. Sleep lightly my friends.

Panda's... Do They K.I.S.S.?

While browsing about for the next stop on the latest K.I.S.S. tour I came across some startling images... I am of course sharing these with my fellow comrades so your eyes may be further opened to the Panda Debauchery.

Please be warned. What you are about to see, may startle you.









There you have it... The Panda's have not only infiltrated our food network, our politics... But also one of our prized good ol' fashion rock bands.

Might this be a publicity stunt? Or some form of trickery to cause us to lower our guard amongst their kind?

I doubt it. These creatures merely want us to be their slaves.

I can only dread the day when Beijing Rock City becomes the newest Panda K.I.S.S. song.

I Was Kidnapped, By The Panda's.

So yes I know it has been a long while since a solid post has been let free! And for that I am sorry.

My current battles with those horrible creatures has taken a slight turn for the worst! For several weeks I have been kidnapped by them! (Arguably alcohol may have altered my state of mind. But that is very very unlikely.)

They'd pulled a trick so clever and cruel at the same time. Allow me to impart a small clip to show you just what they'd done... Though please note. This is a dramatization, the actual event was far far worse.




There you have it. The creatures caught up with me and conned me into a false sense of security. Try as I have to have their kind mashed and destroyed it has proven to finally incur their wrath! Why they have this fixation towards cheap Chinese cuisine is beyond me. All I know is they are a force to be reckoned with and I am certainly going to need to higher more security detail.

But fret not friends, for your leader in this epic battle against the malicious cruelty of the so-called 'Gentle Giant' has escaped. And as I have thwarted them in their attempt to silence me, I shall thwart their plans to conquer us and turn the world into theirs.