The Job-Less *Hunt*

Another re-post! If only if only I'd actually found a job -sobs-


OH! Forgot, ch-check it out. I've got a myspace.

What did I choose for my pretty lame myspace URL thing? Freepie. Well... Freepie backwards anyway,

http://www.myspace.com/eipeerf

Because everything is better backwards. And bare with me. I'm still learning how to use it.
(Side note, apparently smiley faces attract rap artists as I've had about 6 of them send me friends requests.)



So I was looking for a job ***Correction, am looking.***

And it seemed that after the 5th interview I'd landed that all every business could say was, "I would love to hire you, but with how things are we just don't have any open positions. We'll call you."

I was frustrated, I had six more interviewers to see, and well... I was rather agitated! So I decided. What would happen if I was the worst possible candidate when I went into their office? Would they tell me no blatantly? Would they say yes hesitantly? Or would I hear the same words, "We'll call you."

I'm not dumb, I know the nicest way to say no, is indirectly. And I've never ever been turned down if I've made it to an interview. So I was wondering. Do people actually say "NO" at an interview?

-Read more to find out!-


(Disclaimer: Edited out the names! And it's off memory, so while it's pretty accurate, language and context may/may not be the type used exactly.)

Anti-view #1: The UPS Store.

Interviewer: "Afternoon, please if you'd just have a seat we can get this moving along. I'm sure you're busy."

Me: "Yeah, I really am busy, do you think we could make this quick?"

Interviewer: "Uhhh- Yeah sure... So I see you have no real experience with shipping and receiving, but you've got a lot of computer skills... Is there a reason you want to work here with us?"

Me: "Well no, oh and I lied about the computer skills. I never took that course in programming. Just an F.Y.I."

Interviewer: "... Oh, well thanks for being honest..." said while laughing a bit nervously, "Is this a joke?"

Me: "No, would I have worn a collared shirt if it were?"

Interviewer: "You just aren't the sort of candidate we're looking for right now... Maybe you should try McDonald's."

Me: "I knew I should have applied at the Post Office next door. Damn UPS."



Anti-view #2: Play It Again Sports.

Me: "Hey, it's nice to meet you, sorry I'm late. I was at an interview at McDonald's. I wanted to see if I could get a McMuffin."

Interviewer: Looks at me as if I've got a bug on my head, "Well I'm sorry I tried calling you, we actually don't have any open positions right now... If you'd like though I can give you a call when we have a spot open though."

Me: "Wow that was the fastest interview I've had. Thanks for spending my time."

Interviewer: "Sorry I really did try to call."


Anti-view #3: Pete's Tea And Coffee.

Interviewer: "Please have a seat, I'll be right with you. Would you like a drink for the time being?"

Me: "I don't know, is your coffee any good?"

Interviewer: "Yes... One second." Walks off.

Interviewer: "Okay sorry about that. So... What do you think would make you a good candidate for us here?"

Me: "Do they always make you start out with a question?"

Interviewer: "Well... No it helps me get to know you."

Me: "Isn't that why I filled out the application, and why you called me?"

Interviewer: "Well no I meant on a more personal level, would you like to start over?"

Me: "Okay, what do you think would make you a good candidate for us here?"

Interviewer: Laughs some before getting serious. "Have you worked anywhere similar to Pete's before?"

Me: "I don't know, you have my application."

Interviewer: Still serious. "Okay, I don't have time for this. Thanks for stopping by."

Me: "Does this mean I got the job?"

Interviewer: "No."


****Edit: I had to remove three, apparently Helium sucks.****

So there you have it. Apparently... They do and WILL say no. The downside? I've got 6 places that will now NEVER hire me. (And probably none of my extended family) The upside? It was fun as all hell.

Once more I've conquered my desire to please everyone. So if you've been hunting for a job, and are on that one that is bottom of the barrel in your list. Play with it. It's a complete morale booster! And hey, I figure if I fail 100% at an interview statistically, I am destined to pass the next one!

Right? Probably wrong.




Note: There's the re-post guys, sorry the other three have to remain omitted, as no matter how I try to reword it, it takes away from the genuine-facts behind the whole thing which to me made it so funny!

I'm still down a job, and I am pretty sure, it's why I'm only attracting women I don't want to me. And God-Damnit, the Cardinals lost. Talk about a sucky superbowl :(