Panda Posers

I don't get it. Why these people buy these masks... Searching for some false alternative. Are they agents of the Panda's? Do they not understand the gravity of our situation!? How these home-destroying cretins have fenangled their way into our lives?!

It's pretty sad that we're slumping that low as humans, to where we want a demonic creatures face more then our own.

But I have faith in my fellow human! Maybe it is so we can infiltrate their ranks...

So my fellow Panda haters. Only purchase such masks with the intent of degrading (Or destroying) the Panda Race!

Panda Mask (Foam) [Toy] [Toy]

Panda's The True Face.

While I've known their true looks for a while now.

This may shock any of you new to the Panda Conspiracy.

Just Making Sure You're All Safe

With the Pandageddon so close, I wanted to check in with those of you who check in frequently. Are you okay? If you're reading this, then you are.

If not... Well telling you how to reach me wont really help.

On a side note. Watch out. I heard the Panda's recently allied themselves with Dolphin's. What does that mean for us?

Well that our Tuna is no longer safe. For shame.

South Korean Ship Sinks Near North Korea!

I heard about this, and I know it might sound scary. That's because it is my fellow Panda Destroyers. It's a ploy by our enemy to try and bring the world to a crushing end. (At least for us humans.)

You see I've received information a Panda by the name of, "Get-Sum" had snuck aboard the ship and sabotaged it.

The images I am about to show you... Are disturbing you've been warned.

Iceland Volcanic Activity... Equals Panda's On Fire?!

Okay, so I recently read that Iceland is in fact melting (Hahaha there's my pun.) And this leads me to believe I have found a BEAUTIFUL solution to the Pandageddon.

Instead of hunting the beasts one by one. Let's lure them out to Iceland (We can claim it's orphan hunting season there. Those Panda bastards seem to feed largely on Orphans.)

Once we know the majority is there. We get a bulldozer and push them all into the lava.

It's not that great a theory on paper. But I think once executed it'll work on wonderfully. Please refer to the pictures for detail of my master plan.

The Pandageddon...

To my fellow Panda Haters. This is a warning. The Pandageddon is on it's way. 2012? Bogus. Utter crap. But this... This is real.

Stock pile your supplies, build your bunkers, and move far from any Panda nests. (Remember the zoo's.)

These monsters are just waiting to ambush us all!

Penguins: The Better Black + White Animal

They've finally done it. The Penguins have actually killed one of their rivals. The well-named "Kill Ling-Ling from the inside out" was a simple plan. Allow the large monster to devour one of their young...

And wait. Days passed but finally the small bird pecked and fluttered it's way to victory. Though this is but a small victory in our conquest against the Panda threat...

It is one the Panda Death Squad will affectionately hold close to the chest.

We finally have an ally friends. And their name is Penguin. The only endangered animal I'd fight for.

Panda's AREN'T NICE

How long before the masses grasp this idea? Mother Nature wants these hell spawn gone. STOP TRYING TO SAVE THEM. We don't care about the ugly animals, but because of this devilish creature's facade of cute-ness (Note I am NOT saying they're cute.) people want to save them.

As if one day the population could each have a pet Panda. I could hug my dog, I couldn't hug this beast.

Oh and for the record internet sympathizers. These beasts aren't pure herbivores. And even if they were, Bamboo has feelings too.

Word.

Panda's... The Next Flavor Of Anti-Christ

So I was trying to figure out.

"Why do so many people think them cute?!"

Was it the fur? No. People don't think skunks are cute. Could it be the colors? No. Again people don't think skunks colors are cute. The sunk in eyes? Probably not... Maybe it's the large black circles around them? Doubtful they just serve to hide their soulless eyes!

So what was it? I couldn't figure it out.

But I did find a scary similarity. Baby Panda's look like the baby anti-Christ.

Yeah I said it. I'm brave enough too. If I don't awaken tomorrow... Well. At least you know I got the word out!



Oh and so I can piggy back on this revenue gold mine. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Two-Disc Special Edition)


Ya know. Cause if putting those kids on anything sells stuff. Maybe it'll help spread Panda Hate.

We can only hope.

Panda's Infilitrate Forum Flamers

So I was on hiatus, and after a recent string of posts from what I thought to be a dead topic I'd made... I had to make a resurgence.

It seems that all those pointless flaming competitions on the message boards on the internet... Are now being made by Panda's! (For those of you who don't know, 'Flaming' isn't a drag queen, it's a form of web argument for people afraid to put up their fists in real life... Or paws. Fucking Panda's.)


So Ling-Ling (I know it's you) has infiltrated these forums and he's trying to take eyes away from our strife! He'd have you believe that I'm crazy. That panda's are cute or some other hornswaggle. BUT DO NOT BUY IN! He lies.

I have a picture of him for you all to see.

(Center: Heir-to-the-throne)

We found you out oh random internet guy.. We're not blind to your ploys!

Temporary Hiatus

Due in large part to the Panda's going into seclusion I am unable to report any current findings. I'll be back with more info when it's available. But for now we must all remain vigilant! It's imperative we keep our eyes peeled. If I have learned anything from these heinous cretins it is this:

They never stop plotting our destruction.