Earthquakes: 1 Panda's: Nil

In the news was the most wonderful article I've seen in weeks!

"Giant Panda's put in danger by large earthquakes."

There you heard it. It's official mother nature noticed her mistake and is correcting it. Perhaps not with the precision of a coat hanger and a towel. But yes. With an earthquake. So while I still think the work is far from over, I have this to say to the nay sayers.

Mother Nature is on my side. Panda's. Your time of lies and deceit is up! Soon the only panda will be the kind in tales you tell your child to prevent them from getting raped!

!

Panda Theft

The Evil Panda (Full Story) - Free videos are just a click away



Watch as a panda attempts to swipe a wallet. Clever bastards.

Panda Porn

They're even trying to take over our porn industry. Hairy bastards.

Panda Shirts

More panda propaganda.

They've spread to dozens of T-shirts. I was informed of this through someone actually being insane enough to purchase one. So I went searching.


I do not kid when I say there were HUNDREDS of shirts.

Here is a sample.




I don't think I need to make you aware, but I will. These shirts were made by slave labor. The panda's are using humans in camps! These are the cause of the global economy crunch.

When the war breaks out, we'll all be forced to wear them as they beat us.

They're Multiplying.

Baby Panda born in Thai zoo.

Seems that I was right. They're expanding. And soon they'll outnumber us. These cruel malicious animals are using us, hiding their pregnancies and even trying to act loving to trick us!

Open your eyes! See that these beasts want to enslave humanity!!!!

Guerilla Panda

I shit you not friends. There is an organization trying to arm these malicious beasts! The PFP is against us. Panda's are cruel heartless beasts. I'd rather arm African children and send them to war then trust these panda's with any sort of "boom stick".

World War Panda is soon to be upon us. They're not as endangered as they want you to think. They're hiding in caves, building up arsenals and drawing support... So when they wage their war on humanity... We'll be the only ones saying, "What the bamboo?!"

This is why we don't go back for them.

It's not great quality, but it's the right message. Panda's leave their own, and when we try to save them... We find out they're dead.

Panda's Need A Name Change

I think the term Panda's to refer to those malicious evil beasts should be changed.

Once upon a time we called the evilest sea creatures, Orca (Notice the black and white? Seems to be a shared trait amongst evil devil spawn creatures.)

Upon learning of their horrific nature and truly cruel taste for Seals, they were rightfully named, "Killer Whales".

We even put them on display to try and train them into peaceful human pleasing acts.

And they revolted. Horribly. Killing the poor man who tried to beat them in submission.

So my suggestion, Panda's should no longer be referred to as Panda's.

Rather Panda's need to be called something more true. Something to show the world their true nature.

Panda's should be called,
Killer Bears.

Keep your eyes peeled for my upcoming legitimate petition to get such a thing passed. The time of oppressive Panda ways are over.

Another Evil Panda Found.

If only more people understood the true evil of these horribly cruel merciless creatures...

Panda's I'm coming for you.

Panda Is Chinese For Lies.

Okay so I was browsing my up to date, Panda hit list... And I stumbled upon these pictures of what people labeled, "Cute Panda's" At first, I thought to myself.

"Tis must simply be a mistake! Or... By Gods! Do they understand a cute panda is a DEAD panda?!"

I clicked, in the vain hopes I'd find more people who knew the horribly fatal truth that I do. That Panda's are evil. They are if I must associate them, the sharks running around on land. I mean after all, they eat orphans. They've claimed thousands of lives. Do you all not see the horrid faces of these creatures?! I have decided. I will help you understand.



The picture above may seem cute and innocent. What you don't realize is the Panda knows what it's doing, It is purposely showing you the ass of the poor animal it just killed.

This is a sign to say, "Fuck off." In China it is the greatest offense.


This image was the last one found on the photographers camera. Along with some hair, a lot of blood, and a letter claiming he'd grown tired of his life.

These Panda's are cold blooded heartless killers. And they killed that poor photographer. Do not let this happen to you.

Join the Panda Death Squad today.


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Panda's And Their (Dead) Uses.

Okay so I had the HTML all done for my blog layout... And I realized that I'd messed up somewhere and it's not compatible with blogger... So until I get it sorted out this is staying.

Anyways I've come to realize this blog needs to be centralized. And so I am going to centralize it.

My blog shall now be devoted ENTIRELY to the way's Panda's are Satan's little pets (With evidence mind you.)

As well as the random evil panda snippets I've found.

The first is as follows.

"The Only True Use For A Panda Head."

Me: 1 Panda's: 0

So I've come to the conclusion,

ALL PANDA SYMPATHIZERS ARE COWARDS!

*ahem* yes, what I said is true. After my blatant disregard for those flea infested mongrels I found that no one, and I mean no one had anything negative to say about my clear hatred for them. Cuddly? No. Cute? No.

I'm left with two possible causes, the first. Panda's are so deep in our system that people fear speaking out against them.
Or two, as I said. People who love Panda's are (Pardon the french) Pussies.

So I'm going to continue my search for hatefilled panda bashing goodness, and while I do, we'll see just who tries to get me. Peta, I even emailed you. You scaredy cat bastards.

Do You Still Think They're Cute?

Do you still trust them?

Comment, let us know.

It's Coming!

I know! The pun was not intended. I am just letting my faithful readers who have emailed me saying, "Why have you stopped posting?!" That my refried beans... Er blog is about to be active again, I have just been creating a list of sites that I am okay with spamming and getting banned from.


I've also realized Disneyland supports Panda's, as such....

Knott's Berry Farm too. Both theme parks are selling Panda propaganda, and it's detestable!


Still I have to sit in wonder about how far into our infrastructure these demon bastards have spread! No longer shall I allow the world to think them cute! They eat babies!

I have proof, but I cannot reveal it yet.

Oh and apparently. Disneyland isn't kid friendly, and they don't sell alcohol. Talk about screwing the pooch. Or the Pooh bear. Whatever you'd prefer.

Also, I have discovered small wooden ferris wheels invoke a primal fear of heights in me. Dragon swings make my testicles feel like they don't exist, and well

I GOT A FUCKING EYEPATCH

Things to do before I die.

"My Bucket List!"

1. Build a house of cards. (Always wanted to do this. It seemed pretty epic.)
   
2. Set said house of cards on fire. (There's this old saying, you don't know anything until you destroy something you've made. )
   
3. Ride a blue whale. (The largest mammal in the world! Screw any other large animal. I want to ride a whale.)
   
4. Kill a bear with my bare hands. (May use knife.) (What's more manly then killing a bear?)
   
5. Kill an endangered species. (It's just a goal of mine to help further humanities ultimate use. That is to kill nature.)
   
6. Wear a fur coat. (You're not regal or classic until you wear one.)
   
7. Change my last name to "Awesome". (I'd instantly be amazing. Not to mention Awesome for life... Literally lol.)
   
8. Invent shoes to let me walk on the ceiling. (It'd be AWESOME.)
   
9. Create a website that gets it's own Wikipedia entry. (Forever immortal with this.)
   
10. Create a monumental organization. (Once the PDS is official... I am so done with this one!)
    
11. Become some sort of actor. (Voice acting here I COME!)
    
12. Sky dive. (It's important to do before you die. Watch Point Break if you don't believe me.)
    
13. Jump through a window. (You're not a man until you plow through a window.)
    
14. Go to a Superbowl. (I am a slave to the NFL.)
    
15. Learn to fish. (Another thing to make me feel manly.)
    
16. Go Ice-fishing or Fly-fishing. (It's supposed to be the ultimate bonding/drinking experience... So I've gotta do it.)
    
17. Learn to control the weather. (I've always wanted to make the weather mirror my happy-scale.)
    
18. Blow something up with high-grade explosives. (If you never wanted to do this, you're a damned liar!)
    
19. Shoot a gun, while having a cigarette, after having just done a shot. (To do one of each legal thing that the government says is bad... All at the same time. Oh yeah baby.)
    
20. Make a pocket sized list of my things to do before I die. (I want to be able to cross them off, but I don't have it yet!)
    
21. Make-out with a super model and don't contract herpes. (Super models are hot, herpes is not.)
    
22. Get a pet Harpy. (I've always thought harpies were cool...)
    
23. Find some sort of legend, and subsequently poach it. (Bigfoot you better fucking run. This spans from my want to go hunting.)
    
24. Make the best catchphrase ever. (This way I can put it on everything I own!)
    
25. Go on an adventure. (Any type of adventure would work. Ranging from walking somewhere far late at night... To drinking for a day straight and exploring.)
    
26. Ride a bike after drinking for a whole night. (After walking to Jack In The Box at 3 am this made my list.)
    
27. Run along rooftops. (Like the action movies!)
    
28. Base jump. (Yeah, it just looks cool. Plus the ability to say, "My hobbies? Base Jumping." Is awesome.)
    
29. Find an official "best friend". (Still looking lol.)
    
30. Do something spiritual. (Find God? Visit a holy place? Who knows.)
    

So here it is! It's nice to have it actually collected somewhere! Of course I had to take the time to explain just what was on it. I've had to take down my statistics blog temporarily, apparently google has some limits as to what's acceptable to post. (Who knew statistics of drug users and the internet would be so hated!) Anyways, I'll be working on getting that up, or just transferring them here.

And I have a new goal! On a specified day I am going to spam the hell out of every web source I know and see if for one day I can top 10,000 views! Look forward :P

PS this is an image I am attempting to edit for the PDS. (at the top)

Paint Guns Are Awesome.

So I've been having fun with the newly purchased paint gun in my home. I painted my bathroom and am now trying to construct an end table. For this I have procured a jigsaw and some nails. A hammer also! Though I have little training in the art of woodcraft... I figure I am genetically engineered to be the best, most amazing, awesome, and potentially lethal wood worker the world has ever known.

Maybe I will even construct some home-made spears for the PDS (Panda Death Squad).

I will soon upload some pictures and show you my works! The end-table has yet to be started. But soon my friends... I will be on the way to creating things with my hands.

One of the many things on my list of stuff to do before I die.

Update

I forgot to add, Jack In The Box, has the best taco's. They may be filled simply with left over grease from the bottom of a deep fryer... But it's quite amazing.

Also, myspace is fucking up, so I need to remind Neff to ammend his will! I might have dibs on his IP!

Punching dolphins as an idea, here I come!

Drunken wandering!

So anotherr game night has ensued. And some random things occured. First. I got wasted, *typical* second. I recieved an email stating penguin (the publisher) has picked up my poetry and is planning on publishing it as a compilation. Unfortunately they want more of my work... And are offering me a cut, but hey I can't complain! I may soon eenouhg have a book in my name out and about!

YES! Goal number 37: Become historical success!

There's no way I am to be denied the history books if I have a book published.

I've also formed the PDS (Panda Death Squad) with Neff. I will link you to him and his sites eventuallyyy when I have a valid link and all that. He's a cool guy readers, probably cooler then I so check it out!

Also, I've got the statistics blog up and running, i'll link to it soon.

Remmeber don't play soccer. Male chances of ball kickage are,

1 in 3.

That means every three games of full player soccer you are in, one of them you will be kicked where it hurts! I warned you!

Just ensuring I remember to quote my good friend Neff! He alerted me that a man had his genitalia chewed off by a chimp.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/03/04/national/main678061.shtml

I found the link. So I'm saving it here.

I'm seriously unable to type rationally so I will blog in a few hours about it!

Sorry if I got your name wrong haha! I tried! Flyfishing is my new life goal.

Our Government

Sorry it's been a while since a post, but I've been working on a lot of different things.

But I'm taking the time to voice my total lack of understanding surrounding our government.

It seems this week has been the week in politics for which all of us American's should really hang our heads. Let's start with the recap.

First our newly appointed Attorney General, calls every American a coward, and tries to tell us we HAVE to start discussing sensitive issues at work... And by sensitive we're not talking about unfair treatment... We're not discussing abuse or even sexual misconduct... No his "sensitive issues" are that we... As American's need to discuss race.

Now am I the only person who wants to say WTF? I mean come on seriously here. We just voted in the first Black president in our History, who has just so happened to give this man the privilege of being the first Black Attorney General in our history... But we're cowards. And beyond that, we're cowards who need to discuss race...

Get the fuck over yourself. I swear you instantly justify all the awful things people thought with crap like this. This was the reason so many people were "afraid" of the new administrations "change". But thanks for proving them right, and making all of us Democrat's look bad. Appreciated.

So that was the first order of absolute bullshit.

Now we have the media and Amnesty International's "Outrage" over Hilary Clinton's lack of willingness to pressure China on human rights... Once more the bleeding heart liberals condemn us.

She's so wrong for wanting to discuss the economy. For wanting to work first towards getting the world-wide crisis under control... And what do these bogus donation and charity groups do? They claim she's murdering the cause. Fuck off. You people have no fucking idea what it would take to save the world. In fact, I would be the first person to claim that Charity's and these organizations that facilitate *peace* are the problem.

You want us to give money to everyone and their mother. And for what? To fix problems that don't pertain to us. For problems that we can't fix. And you know these problems are all just to save face.

Fuck the Palestinian's right? Fuck Darfur. No we'll be the first to rush to Africa and try to help poverty there a country where all they do is kill each other and have more children. We'll claim injustice for anything related to China... But call into play anything these organizations might benefit from and it's an instant No-no.

Stop sending Africa money and supplies. Send them condems and let teach them about curbing their population. How the hell can you expect to help people when they're suffering and still having children!? Force Israel to make peace. Stop letting them do whatever the fuck they want. Why can we police everyone but claim favorites? Who are we to do that to any country?

And for God's sake. Stop helping other countries until ours is fixed first.

Help the people without jobs. Help people in our country get off welfare, get running water to the poor people in the appalachians. I mean Christ, how can we claim we just want peace and equality, yet be the biggest hypocrites in the world? No wonder other countries don't respect us.

America needs to worry about America. Not about Africa, not about anything else. And my God if Obama once more claims to, "Be willing to talk to" someone else, then later add in requirements that are ridiculous then he needs to be impeached.

North Korea isn't going to just abandon Nuclear weapons to "talk" with us. Hamas shouldn't be completely ignored til they meet a list of requirements first. Talk to them, see what agreements can be reached, because clearly other countries aren't capable of fixing things amongst themselves. So if you want to interfere with EVERY LITTLE external affair in the world. Then do it with the standard approach of diplomacy. Not with ultimatums that NO ONE will ever cave into.